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Funny Jokes

Steamed

Legacy Supporter 3
Joined
Feb 7, 2011
i have a joke sign in front of my house that i update once in a while, here are some i have used so far:

If quizzes are quizzical, what are tests?

I was wondering why the baseball was getting bigger, and then it hit me.

Outside the rehab center, a sign on the lawn read: Keep Off Grass.

The clown wanted to juggle, but he didnt have the balls to do it.
 

Doreagarde

Legacy Supporter 5
Joined
Jan 21, 2011
Location
Canada
How many hipsters does it take to change a lightbulb?

Oh, you don't know? It's a really obscure number, I'm not surprised you haven't heard of it.
 

Doreagarde

Legacy Supporter 5
Joined
Jan 21, 2011
Location
Canada
Yeah, it's getting pretty mainstream, which bothers me because I knew it before it was popular.
 

Steamed

Legacy Supporter 3
Joined
Feb 7, 2011
has anyone seen that video where a guy goes to a college and goes around asking for women to sign a petition to end women's suffrage? they all think that "suffrage" means women's suffering and sign it. Just shows US education ha!
 

AussieDingbat

Legacy Supporter 5
Joined
Jan 15, 2011
Location
Australia
An Englishman, a Scotsman, an Irishman, a Latvian, a Turk, an Aussie, a Yank, an Egyptian, a Japanese, a Mexican, a Spaniard, a Greek, a Russian, an Estonian, a German, an Italian, a Pole, a Lithuanian, a Swede, a Finn, an Israeli, a Romanian, a Bulgarian, a Serb, a Czech, and a Swiss man go to a pub.

The bouncer says, "Sorry. I can't let you in without a Thai."
 

AussieDingbat

Legacy Supporter 5
Joined
Jan 15, 2011
Location
Australia
Police in London have found a bomb outside a mosque.

They've told the public not to panic as they've managed to push it inside.

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During last night's high winds an African family was killed by a falling tree.

A spokesman for the Birmingham City council said, "We didn't even know they were living up there."

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Jamaican minorities in the UK have complained that there are not enough television shows with minorities in mind, so Crimewatch is being shown 5 times a week now.

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I was reading in the paper today about this dwarf that got pick-pocketed.

How could anyone stoop so low!

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I was walking down the road when I saw an Afghan bloke standing on a fifth floor balcony shaking a carpet.

I shouted up to him, "What's up Abdul, won't it start?"
 
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