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Pie VS Cake

Is pie better then cake?

  • Total voters
    40
Northac

Northac

Obsidian
Joined
Jul 31, 2012
lol, love this thread, and it depends on the type of cake and pie, you'd have to compare them individualy.
 
Psychokhaos

Psychokhaos

Legacy Supporter 3
Joined
Jun 5, 2011
Location
Puyallup, WA, USA
It's simple. Or is it. But it is. OR IS IT.

cityblue30Om-Nom-Nom-delicious-pi-cake.jpg
 
Joka10

Joka10

Soulsand
Joined
Jan 24, 2012
strongholdx said:
Teach us your ways. we beg of you
Click to expand...

Required Materials:
  • 2 sharp objects (sterilized). They can be anywhere from the size of a kitchen knife to a broadsword, though it is recommended that they are smaller than a meat cleaver.
  • 1 instance of your favorite type of cake. If you would like more variety, more than one type of cake may be used.
  • 1 instance of your favorite type of pie. If you would like more variety, more than one type of pie may be used.
  • 1 cutting board (sterilized). The material may vary depending on what sharp object you are using. If a standard cutting board will not work, use an anvil.
  • 1 pair of gloves (sterilized). A skilled chopper-upper can get away with just a rubber pair, but amateurs should use tougher materials to avoid loss of fingers.*
  • Multiple large bowls (sterilized). These are for storing your cake and pie pieces. If you have a strong desire to store them in another location, there's not really any reason not to. However, make sure that you have 1 bowl for each different type of cake and pie.
  • 1 blender (sterilized). In most situations, a standard household blender will work just fine. However, if you want to liquify the materials, you may need something stronger. Any attempt to gassify the materials will only succeed with a nuclear-powered plasmablade blender available at your local black market.**
Instructions:
  1. Place the cutting board (or anvil) on your favorite surface.
  2. Place the first instance of cake upon the cutting board. ***
  3. Equip your selected sharp object.
  4. Chop up the current instance of cake into pieces no larger or smaller than 1 inch by 1 inch by 1 inch. ****
  5. Place the chopped-up instance of cake into a bowl (or other container). Store this somewhere safe.
  6. Repeat steps 2-4 until you have successfully chopped up all desired instances of cake. Use a different bowl for each slice of cake. Upon completion, sterilize the cutting board. ***
  7. Place the first instance of pie upon the cutting board.
  8. Equip the second sharp object (or sterilize the first one). ***
  9. Chop up the current instance of pie into pieces no larger or smaller than 1 inch by 1 inch by 1 inch. ****
  10. Repeat steps 6-8 until you have successfully chopped up all desired instances of pie. Use a different bowl for each slice of pie. ***
  11. Take the first bowl you filled and empty its contents into the selected blender.
  12. Take the next bowl you filled and empty its contents into the selected blender.
  13. Repeat step 12 until all bowls have had their contents emptied into the selected blender. Make sure that you empty the bowls in the same order you filled them. ***
  14. Examine the settings available on the selected blender.
  15. Meditate carefully about which setting you will choose.
  16. Select the desired setting on the blender. *****
  17. Enjoy your blended cake and pie. ******
Asterisks:

* In the event of total newbiness (or noobiness) in relation to chopping-upping, full body armor is recommended.

** The cost may be exorbitant; up to but not neccessarily including your soul. Also, some assembly may be required.

*** Despite how strange some of these steps may seem, you must follow them to the letter. Blenders believe that cake should always come before pie. They also believe that nothing should be blended without use of a blender. Therefore, you must be meticulously careful not to mix any different instances of pie or cake with one another, be it the smallest molecule of cake on the pie-cutting knife, or the overly-large chunk of apple pie thrown in the pumpkin pie bowl. Disobeying any of these rules will deeply offend the blender. In some cases, it may even retaliate violently against you, or, worse, ruin your cake-pie-puree.

**** This is the equivalent of 2.54 centimeters cubed in the Metric system. Do your best to cut the desired instances of cake and pie into sizes as close as possible to this, or you risk offending the blender.

***** If selecting the desired setting doesn't have a visible result, one of several different things could be the culprit.
  • The blender functions at speeds below that which are visible to the human eye.
  • The blender requires a sacrifice before it can function.
  • The blender requires any chopped-up instances or cake or pie placed within its confines to have been chopped up in midair by a loud, angry Japanese man wielding dual katana.
  • The blender doesn't like one or more of your chopped-up instances of cake or pie.
  • The blender doesn't like you.
  • You have somehow offended the blender (not the same as the blender not liking you, because sometimes they just don't like you).
  • The room is not the right temperature (some high-quality French blenders react to this).
  • The blender is unplugged.
  • You didn't push the button hard enough.
****** It is recommended that you place the blended cake and pie in a container other than the blender itself before consuming it, as there is a possibility of internal laceration if you swallow certain blades.

Note: Satisfaction and/or survival is/are not guaranteed.
 
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