If there are the better established and larger towns, how come that still so many people prefer to live in small hamlets?
What if the "large" towns had been stomped in the ground, before they had a chance to become large? I'm not saying that all small hamlets will evolve to something bigger, but hamlet is and will be the first stage of a town, no matter what it will become. And do you think the mayors of the currently large cities are the best mayors and all mayors of the small hamlets don't have the potential to be the King of a Kingdom someday?
As a mayor of a (as you'd say) "small" hamlet with 15 members, I can tell you that we're not unproductive or drawing the potential recruits away from the large towns. We are just what we want to be and let the recruits know that. If they like our idea of a "ideal" town/hamlet, they'll join and if our town wasn't there, they probably wouldn't join yours since it's not what they've been looking for. Furthermore there are some advantages that a "small" hamlet has compared to the big cities.
- We know each member well and personally (unlike the big cities... and don't tell me that isn't true. I've experienced it myself)
- We don't overrecruit and don't expand as fast as other towns do, thus we try to only recruit top quality members, who are willing to put effort into the town and don't just join to be part of "something bigger". We know they don't join to have the chance to steal and nobody will notice or to hide behind their townmembers and are actually scared of pvp'ing. By recruiting low lvl players and seeing how a small hamlet evolves into a town/city/etc. they will make a "bond" with the town and its members and thus be one of the more loyal members.
- As Mayor, I don't have to handle so much stuff simultaneously and thus can concentrate on one thing at a time with a probable better outcome.
- Less people = Higher Security. We're small, yet we know we don't have thiefs, raiders or renegades amongst our members.
- We have a clear structure/hierachy. We don't have people making changes on the town security or other important things like it can happen in larger towns.
- Being the best town is not about having the most members. It all depends on these members and especially to their relations to the town and the leaders. We don't need the strongest pvp force of dragongard, neither do we need the richest members. What a good town needs are: Loyal, reasonable, mature, kind, helpful and considerated members. Not a bunch of kids swinging their axes and swords trying to destroy other towns, before they even had their chance.
And I could list a lot of other points, but I'm going to stop there.
If you feel that the small hamlets take your members and your funds, than do something. There is a reason why people choose to live in small hamlets. Make your town unique, create something that not every town has, make people want to join your town. Don't just complain that there are too many hamlets that prevent kingdoms from being formed.
And think it one step further. Do you really think these players would join one of your towns, if your town was the one which destroyed their previous town? No, they'd join another town with the goal to destroy your alliance and your town...
TL;DR
Destroying other towns and being a douchbag is not the way to go. Make other people want to live in your town. Work on yourself and your town, not on the others.
No offense.